Welcome to Pez.com Bitches!

Pez might be the greatest candy ever...

They may not be low calorie but they are negligible in calories due to the fact that it takes the same amount of energy to open a packet of candy, insert them into the damned machine and then use it to laboriously eat them one by one...

It is a zero-sum.

I love the machines... but the candy is best eaten outside of the machine, in the packet. Just open the damned candy packet, eat it and get it over with... The reason you bought the machine was so that you can place it next to the others anyways, then quickly forget it altogether.

If you did want to know the best way to insert them in the machine (in case you are a glutton for punishment dealt at the hand of the Pez sadists):

1) open candy on the long, skinny side... just split the paper down the center.

2) open the foil wrapper down the side, exposing half of the length of each PEZ candy piece from its aluminum covering.

3) open your Nermal, Vader, Garfield, Skeleton, Clown, Santa, etc. and pull it until the candy-holding mechanism is fully extended.

4) push the partially opened Pez packet into the opening that will hold the candy, starting with the opened side (exposed candy goes in first)...

5) Push the candy into the machine, sliding off the foil wrapper as it is inserted fully.

6) Snap closed the infernal machine and pretend that you are performing CPR on the cartoon character and gasp as a single, tiny piece of PEZ candy slides out of your cartoon characters neck.

7)Eat the damned candy you fool!

8) repeat about 30 times

An alternative step that can be performed at any time in this sequence is to just open the packet and eat them all at once!!!

Perhaps I will post pictures to accompany this guide if I can find a packet...

PEZ candy FAQ