Robert DeNiro is not Funny...

Whenever I see a film with Robert DeNiro in it, I think of the agonizingly painful out-takes for Meet the Parents. I enjoyed the damned film, but the outtakes showed that DeNiro has no comic timing and will laugh at anything that is a fuck-up. It is not funny if a person says "Fucker" and means "Focker" after the eightieth goddamned time. There is a reason that he is suited for dramatic roles: he has no sense of irony to foul his acting like himself time after time.

This picture is the only way that the man can be funny... if he looks the damned fool.

Hey, when I am eighty she will be 18... don't knock me!

By the way, I just wasted an hour and forty-five minutes of my life watching Hide and Seek. Dakota Fanning continues her reign as the most talented thespian still in grade school, but DeNiro is just phoning it in... as he has for the past twenty years.

The screenwriter tried to have a "tricky" film device (that the bad guy is another aspect of the main character's personality... oooh, original!), but just served to infuriate me and damn myself for investing any of my hard-earned leisure-time in this film. I thought about five minutes into the movie that no-one would be so obvious as to use this hackneyed and unoriginal plot device again... but I was wrong.

Obviously you can rehash this story over and over again as long as it has a big enough name in it. Fools (such as myself) will rent it to see Dakota Fanning get traumatized (yet again).

I am sure DeNiro was like, "hey... this is brilliant, where did you ever come up with such a creative idea...? and the script... to die for!" Either that or he said, "okay... I will do anything for twenty-million dollars."

DeNiro in the oughts = crap.

Categories: DeNiro, badmovies, obviousplottwists, lame